Dao Ascension
Set in the world of Jianghu, you will play as a being whose power far exceeded those who claim to be strongest.
• Play as male, female or non binary.
• Romance any gender you want as any gender.
• Slaughter everyone in your path or show them mercy.
• Teach lessons to arrogant cultivators or be arrogant yourself.
• Be a living god among mortals.
• Shape the people and the world around you
Just remember this game may not be suitable for everyone, as it contains some very graphical description of violence.
If you are okay with this then have fun.
If you enjoyed the story and want to support me or get weekly update then join my patreon.
| Published | 4 days ago |
| Status | In development |
| Platforms | HTML5 |
| Rating | Rated 5.0 out of 5 stars (1 total ratings) |
| Author | DaoImmerser |
| Genre | Interactive Fiction |
| Tags | chinese-fantasy, choicescript, cultivation, jianghu, Meaningful Choices, overpowered-protagonist, Romance, Text based, Violent, xianxia |
Comments
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I notice a great many people being incredibly vague and pussyfooting around the truth in an effort to be polite. The short version of this is, this is... terrible. The premise might not be but the execution is. I get the sense that the author is not a native English speaker, which is fine, but they might wish to write it in their native language and then translate it or have it translated. I couldn't get past more than a few screens before it grated on my nerves so badly I could not continue. The prose is perfunctory at best and nonsensical at worst, and lacks any descriptions to speak of. This is an IF. You are painting a picture with words, you're not even giving us the line art. Perhaps the author should go back and do an outline of this and then try writing it when they are more experienced writing this kind of narrative. The passion for the subject is there, the desire seems to be. In fact I think that's why it's the way it is, the author was so excited to do this, they jumped the gun before they were equipped to. So please, don't give up but go equip yourself to give your audience what you and they deserve, because this does a disservice to both.
An enjoyable experience:)
This is interesting story, I get a good laugh out of it like act as some sort of bumbling idiot even being OP as hell, I like how you wrote the table has been turned on them.
But..... I think this could use some more description you know like cooking tiger not just written as cooking and eating maybe you could describe the process itself like skinning the tiger, then cut the best part ( maybe ribs, shanks, whatever) leave the dirty organs or describe something like Tiger Liver have especially good quality, like how it was cooked? Is it Stirred? Roast? Grilled or maybe steamed? There is a way to make cooking something as part of lore dumping like what seasoning they use? Is there any fancy herbs? Maybe unique sauce?
There is also mention of forest should take some time to describe how the forest looks like, any bioluminescent plants? What kind of tree there is? Crooked trees or maybe vines sprawl?
Also like the cultivation school, how's the school looks like? White pagoda, large courtyard, massive gate, with thousands of staircase in the mountains or like floating island?
there is also part like person, should describe what they look like, like skin color, face features of there is any, how tall they are, how broad, how their body looks like? Lanky, Stout, athletic, fit, etc, like our sister probably could be described how she grow up to be? How tall? What's the difference now and back then? Roulan is beautiful ofc but what kind of beauty? Innocent? Natural? Sharp? Or maybe cute beauty? Did she blushed, stutter or maybe if you're writing for adults could also describe her bust? Is it large or average or small? Describing more of the character in detail will make reader care about such character, like Roulan mother I understand she's kind person a healer but what else, maybe she bake snack for MC? Small little things like that will invoke emotion from the reader and make reader more and more sympathetic towards her, while some would see this as railroading it is in a good way railroading.
Take more time to describe, ofc it could be filled with reader imagination, telling stories is like creation.... Show us reader how vibrant and wonderful this world you're building, I understand the fast pace probably because MC still a child, it maybe limiting but still in my opinion a bit more description/narration would make the story bloom.
Thank you for pointing it out things that needs an improvement, I'll try to rewrite the story where it's lacking in my free time, but I'm not sure how long it's gonna take as since I'm a little busy these days and I'll also be updating it for my patreon members every week, and I wanna give them a decent amount of content.
There is no need for total rewrite just need editing adding some more flair, description and polishing some page, like there is noticable typo so far, this whole early chapter could surpass 100k word if you let it bloom.
I'm not talking about rewriting the entire stories, but the scenes I can add some more content and make it more immersive.
I see, excited to read what you will add.
Keep in mind to balance writing and real life, most author can't balance this causing burnt out which is sad because they wrote good stories :(
Anyway good luck😁
Thank you!